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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who crushes Pepsi cans with a hydraulic press? It's sodapressing."

"Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken!"

"What did the New Zealand naval officer say to his crew? All hands on dick...."

"Im really good at coming up with jokes about planes. They always seem to take off."

"INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired"

"What do you call a factory that only makes good products? A satisfactory"

"You wouldn't steal a gate. So why would you take offense?"

"How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be? Use LED based paint."

"There's only 3 types of people in the world. Those that can count, and those that can't."

"What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ? Sister Matic !"