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Joke of the Day

"Seasonal Star Wars joke > **Darth Vader**: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. > **Luke**: How? > **Darth Vader**: I felt your presents. EDIT: Formatting"

"Textbooks The podiatry textbook used footnotes while the proctology textbook used endnotes."

"If it exists behind a paywall, does it really exist?"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water?... You're gonna have to give me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"For Christmas my wife wanted something that went from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds. So I bought her a scale."

"What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower? A bat mat."

"Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving? They wanted another excuse to watch football."

"A duck walks into a pharmacy grabs a tube of lipstick, puts it on the counter and the cashier says ""that'll be $3.50. The duck says ""just put it on my bill"""

"Had to replace the condom I carry around in my wallet yesterday Just heard they have a 5 year expiry date."

"I went to the shop to buy 6 cans of coke. But when I got home, I realised I'd picked 7 Up."