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Joke of the Day

"Textbooks The podiatry textbook used footnotes while the proctology textbook used endnotes."

"Jon Snow contracted malaria after getting stabbed... ""How did you get malaria from a stab?"" ""Malaryan Steel."""

"I've just started my own company called Flying Fuck Airlines. Judging from what I've seen here, it's going to be an outstanding success."

"Two muffins were in an oven. One says to the other, ""Damn, it's hot in here."" The other one says, ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""

"Sometimes on a clear cool night I look at the stars for hours and wonder what cool things I'd be doing if my Internet weren't down."

"My roommate is painting and makes a mistake... Him: ""gah why can't I Ctrl-z!?"" My inner dad: ""because z is a rouge letter"""

"What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill? One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment."

"Socialist jokes aren't funny.... Unless everybody gets them."

"Two years ago I became a proud father. My son is 6, but he was kinda lame those first four years."

"I hate myself a little for this... What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! ...Nah, just kidding! *He still hasn't unwrapped his present!!!*"