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Joke of the Day

"Which ant is the biggest? Elephant"

"I call my penis ""newborn baby"" Because sometimes I have to slap it repeatedly to bring it to life."

"If I don't mention you, then the tweet/status wasn't about you. But if the shoe fits, then lace that bitch up and wear it."

"So I was going down on this girl. And I tasted horse semen, I looked up at her and said ""ahh Grandma that's how you died"""

"As I get older I realize my penis is like Jesus. It takes 3 days to reserect after a good beating."

"RT if you are my car keys and I can't find you"

"What saddens me is that I'll never be able to murder anyone who uses ""Not with that attitude"" as a counterargument to negativity."

"What do you say to a grammar nazi who just got their left side cut off? Their, they're, there. You'll be all right."

"Why do so many Italian men wear mustaches? So they can look like their mothers."

"What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke!"