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Joke of the Day

"So I was going down on this girl. And I tasted horse semen, I looked up at her and said ""ahh Grandma that's how you died"""

"An important phone call is something that occurs when there's no better excuse to ignore someone."

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Just because she's dead doesn't mean she can't still screw."

"When I ask for a threesome with you and your best friend, I am only joking... Unless the answer is yes... In which case, can I videotape it?"

"Who started the campfire website? Some bright spark."

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine & a small child? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window..."

"My life feels like a test I didn't study for and everybody is being a d*ck and not letting me cheat."

"What do you call a 2 with a fat ass? A 3"

"What do you call Triple H practicing for a WWE match? Preparation H"

"[At Adele Concert] Adele: Hello from the other siiiiiide Me (shouting): Tell us your surname"