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Joke of the Day

"My roommate forgot to pay the cable bill this month. They came and cut our Cox off."

"What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes? Get a small hankie!"

"How's anal like your first car? (x-post from r/funny) You don't really want it, but your dad gives it to you anyways. (From Dark Humor on FB)"

"Stop, Drop, and Roll: A Beginners Guide to Bowling"

"Q: What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? A: Get bent!"

"Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got behind in his orders"

"What's the difference between a dead prostitute and a dead German midget? A tiny pair of lederhosen on your basement floor."

"So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today."

"If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door."

"What if God IS a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I'll never hear the end of it."