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Joke of the Day

"Mexican Olympics Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team? Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US."

"Last night I dreamt I was a vacuum, it really sucked."

"Hi, childless people. I just meticulously peeled the skin off a pickle. Cuz the pickle was ""bumpy."" Enjoy your day. Not de-bumping pickles."

"Thought up this joke the other day What's the difference between a deaf dog and a one night stand? The one never comes when he's called and the other never calls after he comes."

"The plumber came to fix the toilet & said, ""Where is the water main?"" so I turned on the tap & said, ""Right here, main."""

"A cat walked in to a cobblers.. ..SHOE!"

"I ""accidentally"" washed my cellphone once, and my wife has never let me do laundry again.... Yeah Accident"

"LION: Lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. SHEEP: Shaun thinks your mane looks ridiculous. LION: *upset* Shaun said that?"

"The Universal Miss award goes to Steve Harvey."

"Because telescopes work using mirrors... We'll never know if there are any space vampires."