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Joke of the Day

"There's a dog on my street who practices Islam. I don't have a problem with his religion, I just wish he wouldn't wake me up every morning at 5am shouting ""ALLAHU AK-BARK."""

"Why should you never make fun of fat people who have lisps? They're thick and tired of it"

"Perspective is everything. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the live lobsters in the ship's galley."

"That's so nice of Activia to offer a money back guarantee. Am I supposed to send them pictures of myself not shitting?"

"Three guys walk into a bar... John Wick kills them with a pencil. A fucking pencil."

"what did the tricep say to the muscular receptionist bye, 'cep!"

"So a woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day... Apparently ""in HD"" was not an acceptable answer."

"Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it'd be a chicken sedan."

"I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing."

"Sell a man a fish... Sell a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, miss our on a wonderful business opportunity."