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Joke of the Day

"""What does your mother do for a living?"" ""She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur."""

"If Cookie Monster was going to eat a country, what country would he eat? Viet-nom-nom-nom-nom"

"Have you ever been to a Native American orgy? It's fucking intense man!"

"Hey, I may not look like much right now, but believe me, in the morning I'll look even worse."

"Grandma, the words are very similar, but you ""butt dialed"" me. You didn't booty call me."

"What's the best thing about duct tape? It turns no, no, no into Mm, Mm, Mmmm"

"Hey Customer Service Instead of monitoring this call for quality purposes, how about you just listen to what I need and fix it?!?"

"Realized woman behind me at self-checkout line was from DMV. Made her wait 4 hours for her turn. Revenge is sweet."

"whats the most uncomfortable thing about a prostate exam? When you ask the doctor where to put your pants and his reply is right next to mine."

"How do attractive men pay for things? They handsome money to the cashier"