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Joke of the Day

"""What does your mother do for a living?"" ""She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur."""

"What's the difference between Turkey and Duck? Duck doesn't deny the Armenian Genocide."

"What do you call a Sasquatch that is never on time? Not Yeti"

"Women is born with two vaginas The parents and the doctor thought it was a miracle until poop came out of the second one"

"What do you call the only wood that doesn't float? Natalie."

"""This shirt that the team was wearing smells disgusting. I need to find an appropriate state to name it after."" -Inventor of the jersey"

"What do you call a Russian on a golf course? Vladimir Puttin'"

"I'm extending the weekend one MORE day for everyone. I talked to your boss, (s)he said no problem as long as you dress slutty on wed."

"How did Harry Potter make it to the bottom of the hill? By walking... jk rolling"

"What's the difference between a crab with boobs and a bus filled with old people? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station."