145407

Joke of the Day

"What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating? ""Man, wall mounts are awesome."""

"My wife always says I am bullying on of our children I don't know which one she means... John, Maria or the fat ugly one?"

"what is harry Potter's favorite ice breaker? Scar Stories."

"What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly? They ostrich-sized him"

"A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining."

"Some of you are giving nihilistic pessimism a bad name... And I don't care for it."

"What's dumber than a box of rocks? The hippie carrying it. What's dumber than that? The yuppie buying it. What's dumber than that? The box of rocks"

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ Then I thought, look what's telling me that."

"HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell"

"Why don't vampires go south of the border? Because every time they suck a Mexican's blood, they get the vshits for a month."