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Joke of the Day

"Well Officer..we didn't have a bottle so that dead guy over there.. ""Him?"" No the other dead guy..suggested ""Spin The .44""..And I WON!"

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ... Then I thought, look what's telling me that"

"If you workout and don't post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?"

"What do you call an african american in a 3 piece suit? The defendant."

"Why do Germans have such great focus? I think it's because they used to have concentration camps."

"And now for the best horror game of the year! FNAF vs Slender:The Arrival! FNAF wins! (The FNAF fanbase will scream at us if we pick anything else)"

"(Showing off new car) Father-in-law: Looks good, what engine has it got? Me: *ultra confident* a grey & black one"

"will you marry me? ""OMG YES! I love you!!!"" *imagines typing only 4 characters for 'wife' instead of 'girlfriend' on Twitter* I love you too"

"A cop stopped me and asked ""Do you know why I followed you "" so I said ""because my tweets are funny"" & we laughed & high-fived & I'm in Jail..."

"What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town? Tombstone."