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Joke of the Day

"[helping kid w/math] What is 0.1 as a fraction? ""One tenth?"" Good, now what does 10% mean? ""Battery low, plug in your phone?"" Perfect"

"I like my coffee like I like my women, black and from the gas station up the street."

"Magic Johnson is one positive individual."

"How do Australians sleep? With their heads at the foot of the bed."

"What is Jesus' favorite band? Nine Inch Nails"

"I had my operation done privately in the end. Originally my Dad wanted to sell tickets."

"I was born with this saltiness I tasted my own cum It tasted salty"

"I'm hot blooded, check it & see/ I got a fever of 103/ why's everyone on the bus screaming/ maybe I shoulda wiped off the rectal thermometer"

"I need a new therapist. After a long session with my therapist describing all my various problems, she asked if I'd ever considered suicide. When I said no, she replied ""Well, you should."""

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A ""Lickalotofpuss""."