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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke the news that she's pregnant I responded, ""Congrats, now you have something to remember me by."""

"How five Jews changed the way we see the world: Moses: ""The Law is everything"" Jesus: ""Love is everything"" Marx: ""Money is everything"" Freud: ""Sex is everything"" Einstein: ""Everything is relative"""

"This grocery store is playing ""Freebird"" which I interpret as an invitation to shoplift a turkey."

"What's worse than two babies in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters."

"I was going to photograph my food but then I ate it. I hope I don't get kicked off Instagram for that kind of behaviour."

"Hear about the Native American who died from drinking too much tea before bed? He drowned in his teepee."

"A Roman walks into a bar... He holds up two fingers and says ""I'll have five beers"". (Not mine)"

"Ok America. You've made us chuckle with this whole Trump 2016 thing. But if we see Kanye 2020 happen... No. More. SYRUP. Love, Canada"

"[DARK] A bulky muslim man walks into a gay bar... He says ""EVERYONE, WANNA SEE THESE GUNS??"" Everyone ""YEEEAAAHHH!!!"" And. Thats how Orlando happened. And dark humor is never too soon :)"

"Magic A magician is driving down a road and turns into a driveway."