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Joke of the Day

"I was going to photograph my food but then I ate it. I hope I don't get kicked off Instagram for that kind of behaviour."

"Do you know why they put cotton balls in the top of prescription bottles? To remind black people that they picked cotton before they sold drugs."

"What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse? The hell out of there."

"Husband: Honey I bought the new Gold Olympic Condoms... Wfie: Why not Silver and come second for a change...?"

"Why are there no penguins in Britain? They're scared of Wales."

"What do you call an exaggeration of mens genitalia? A phallus-y!"

"Why would you download a car when you can download a shark, I'd bet it would be at least one gigabyte."

"In Colorado you're American In Juarez you're a Mexican. In the bathroom European."

"Knock Knock: Nutella Knock Knock Who's there? Nutella Nutella who? I'm Nutella-ing you."

"the hardest part about hitting a child in public... is avoiding getting caught by their parent's."