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Joke of the Day

"More Wisdom from Confucius Man who goes to bed with itchy butt, usually wakes up with stinky fingers. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."

"Mohammed Ali & Michael J Fox How come every video of Ali and Michael J Fox I see them in they're shaking hands? To soon....?"

"I work out at the same time every day... tomorrow."

"Fun game: Order food to be delivered to your mobile home and then lead the delivery driver on a high-speed chase through town."

"If you see a swarm of jellyfish, DO NOT enter the ocean. It's a no-brainer."

"So, let me get this straight. You boast that you shagged my Mum, and I'm supposed to get you a Fathers Day card to say 'thanks'?"

"Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket? Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair."

"What person shows you around a mental hospital? Tour-ettes :)"

"What happened when the 26th letter of the alphabet hit puberty? She got a Zebra."

"How do you fix a broken rock. Geosporin."