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Joke of the Day

"I was dating an English teacher, but she dumped me.... She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon."

"Nazi jokes are so offensive Anne Frankly, I find them immature."

"The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then."

"I got a flyer in the mail that said ""Get into a new car no questions asked!"" Bullshit... my neighbor still asked WTF I was doing in his BMW."

"ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong"

"I'm not sure if I want to move to Sweden... but the flag is a big plus."

"If you cant beat'em, join'em! Then kill them while they're sleeping."

"I told my blond friend, that they have higher risk of cancer. The next day she colored her hair black. courtesy: Choke by Chuck palahniuk"

"Why is the ulna the second funniest bone in our skeleton? It's near-humerus."

"You probably didn't hear about the power outage in New York City... I think the news should have shed more light on it."