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Joke of the Day

"What did Stevie Wonder think when he got a cheese grater for christmas? That it was the most violent book he'd ever read."

"I just saw a picture of a duck posing and doing a dumbwhitegirlface."

"What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC? One has a job."

"girlfriend asks you to get wine: You're getting laid wife asks you to get wine: You're getting yelled at"

"How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House? All right, all right, all right.."

"Once upon a time the hardest decision we had to make was to choose our favorite color in a crayon box..."

"How do you get high underwater? seaweed! lol my friends 12 yr old daughter told us this one"

"Microwaves should have a ""Pfft"" button."

"I've started a new religion based on the consumption of high-percentage alcohol. Its only downside is that I now miss a lot of work due to hangovers It's called absinthe-theism."

"guard your heart, cater to no man's ego, honor your own time and your energy, don't use uber. happy 2015."