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Joke of the Day

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"When Asian tourists ask me to take their picture for them; I always say, ""Okay let's do one more but this time don't squint"

"I look at people sometimes and think..for real? That's the sperm that won?"

"If you wore corduroy to a job interview, what kind of an impression would you leave? I feel like this is a great setup, but I can't think of a punchline. Any help, reddit?"

"What's another name for a supernova? A POPstar. HAHAHAHA. Living is pain. Unbearable. End me."

"People told me girls wait their whole lives to hear a man say ""I do"" Apparently not if the question was ""Do you think I put on weight?"""

"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni... That folks, is what drugs do to you."

"A girl says to a salesman, ""I'm not sure if I should buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker."" He says, ""Well, that depends. Are you gonna sweat, or are you gonna break wind?"""

"Why do men masturbate? It's sex with someone they love."

"Why did the Snowman pull his pants down? Because the snowblower was coming."