144836

Joke of the Day

"I was Given a Madden Game Guide My friend handed me a game guide on the game series Madden I gave it back to him and said It made me Maddened"

"Quitting twitter is the adult version of running away from home. We ALL know you're doing it for attention and we ALL know you'll be back."

"Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?"" ""I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."""

"""we lost your dad during surgery im very sorry"" ha, hes always wandering off ""no he.."" *holds up one finger while on phone* dad ring me back"

"My Viagra addiction ..was the hardest time of my life."

"I just crashed into the back of a dwarf driver.... He gets out of the car inspects the rear bumper and goes up my window. ""I'm not happy"" he said ""well which one are you then?"""

"What did Sigmund Freud say when he had an epiphany? Urethra!"

"My Christian friend got caught masturbating to a hymn It gave a whole new meaning to 'O Come All Ye Faithful'"

"If you are what you eat Does that make Jeffery Dahmer a young man?"

"So the past, present, and future walk into a bar. It gets really tense."