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Joke of the Day

"""we lost your dad during surgery im very sorry"" ha, hes always wandering off ""no he.."" *holds up one finger while on phone* dad ring me back"

"You know how I know we are gonna have sex? I'm stronger than you!"

"Why can't there be a League of Legend's team of 5 Lucians? Because you can't have a team with only 3 champions."

"Words are so powerful; but I never have time to write on my fists before a fight."

"My girlfriend asked me what world of Warcraft and league of legends are. Wow, lol."

"Why was the dog banned from the redwood forest? He was barking up the wrong tree."

"How did the 3 legged frog get across the 4 lane freeway? Take the F out of Free, and the F out of way and you'll have your answer."

"How do men define a ""50/50"" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle."

"Why Batman never joke into comedy. One rule: NO KILLING"

"Buy a ticket to Finding Dory and yell ""She's right there!"" every time she comes on the screen until you're escorted out of the theater."