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Joke of the Day

"Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools? Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason."

"I used to date a periodicals librarian... ...but we broke up because she had too many issues."

"Why did the power go out when Optimus Prime got his first blow job? Someone blew a transformer."

"my signature move is called ""the Mouse,"" where I run around the dance floor wearing nothing but a tampon"

"Please pray for my friends' 4 yr old. I just found out that ten minutes of his life wasn't photographed or documented on Facebook today."

"What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !"

"Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair."

"Now that Ted Cruz dropped out, there is only one man standing in Trump's way Hilary Clinton"

"The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar. It was tense."

"If i cut off my right butt cheek will i be left behind?"