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Joke of the Day

"They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now!"

"angel: where'd all the zebras go? God: I put 'em in the desert angel: dude their camouflage was for the snow God: I know lol"

"I think my microwave's broken. I keep pressing the pizza button and no pizza is coming out"

"I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul. Nobody got it."

"Muhammad Ali was apparently bad in bed, says his widow. Then again, he was a fighter, not a lover."

"How do you count cows? You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want."

"So... I want Ebola cereal... "

"The question is not what am I doing in your house, the question is why are you home from work early?"

"I witnessed a murder today.. then I realized it was just a group of crows."

"Shocked to see Gravity win a special effects award. Thought it was actually filmed in space"