144616

Joke of the Day

"People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I'm stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence."

"Here's a joke about my senior year of college. I tried."

"Is sex without obligations possible after getting married? Yeah - sometimes I can have sex without promising to do the dishes afterwards."

"My family keeps bringing up my felony like I'm afraid to commit another one."

"I tried to put two apples together But then I got a pear"

"Lindsay Lohan says she can't walk down the street without men chasing her. They're drug dealers Lindsay pay your debts.."

"I took my skateboard around my friend's house. ""Wanna see me kickflip?"" I asked. ""No..."" he sighed. He really regrets naming his dog ""Flip""."

"Q: How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Only one Arian but an awful lot of light bulbs. (*smash*)"

"Men are just opposite from guns The smaller the caliber, the bigger the bore"

"Her dad said he'd like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me."