44118

Joke of the Day

"Her dad said he'd like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me."

"Q: You're sailing on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but do not have a fire source, what do? A: Throw one overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter."

"Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat? To see if there was any more money in the kitty!"

"Whoever said technology would replace all paper obviously hasn't tried wiping their but with an IPad."

"What is the best Vitamin for friendship? B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency."

"Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario &how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream."

"There has been a rise in sheeple recently. Someone better tell the sheep shaggers to wear some protection."

"Scientists recently discovered T-Rex hunted in packs, confirming once again that we should all send that asteroid a thank you card."

"Islam? No. Is pork. That's not Halaled."

"When my 9 year old gets off the phone with his girlfriend, I'm going to ask him for some dating advice."