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Joke of the Day

"The man said to his mime... ""I'm afraid I have to fire you."" The mime replied, ""Why the fuck am I fired?"""

"Q: What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A: Rhesus Pieces."

"*hears a man crying in a bathroom stall at work* ""Excuse me, are you okay? Because you're kinda stealing my thing"""

"Q: What is a monster's favourite game? A: Swallow the leader."

"At my age, a new driver's license doesn't have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven't Expired On date."

"How do you pick up a Jewish girl? With a dustpan."

"The correct response to ""How was your weekend?"" is ""Fine."" If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a shit."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candace ! Candace who ? Candace with love !"

"Pssst, what's the answer to question number 5? umm, dude this is a voting booth."

"Bad jokes are like farts... ....better to let them pass."