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Joke of the Day

"I got my Bank Balance back today. It was a picture of a priest. I put it on a spitroast, so at least now I can say I'm turning a prophet."

"Doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand A neutron walks into a bar, and asks: ""How much for a drink?"". To which the bartender replies: ""For you, no charge"""

"someone asked : are you coming? me: No, but I'm breathing fast... them: me: them: me: I guess I'll save that one for Twitter"

"What my Doctor said... ""Sugar kills more people than Cocaine"" What I heard... ""The next time you're craving Cake...Do some blow instead"""

"Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend."

"I found a great recipe in my mathbook Everything was amazing except the *cos-law*"

"An Indian man was arrested He tried to talk his way out of trouble and kept currying on with the excuses, but the police were having naan of it!"

"I fucking hate Black History month It's the darkest month of the year"

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney I'm not laughing either"

"Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships."