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Joke of the Day
"There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data..."
Next Joke
"One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol."
"My brother told me he thinks I invade his privacy Well he didn't actually tell me. I read it in his diary."
"A baguette up the butt is a real pain in the ass."
"The worst thing about being bjtten by a spider is that you're probably australian"
"I just got a new job working for R.E.M. . . . I'm expecting a generous Michael Stipend."
"[first date] me: don't let her know you vocalise everything you think her: what? me: shit she knows"
"The nice thing about being a hypochondriac is eventually you'll be right, then die while going, ""See? Told you."""
"I'm so poor... I just rinsed off a paper plate."
"When in trouble I think What Would Justin Bieber Do? scream like a little girl, grab nonexistent testicles & run away awkwardly."