144347

Joke of the Day

"My mom sometimes texts me pictures of Buddha with an inspirational text like: ""Be kind to others, Evil Lisa"""

"Missing a period is probably a Grammar Nazi's worst nightmare."

"I don't mind hopping on the bandwagon every once in a while, but seriously, it's 2010. Buy a fucking car already."

"last year, I asked Santa for the sexiest person ever for Christmas.... I woke up in a box."

"Papa why is it that dentists call their offices dental parlors?"" ""Because they are drawing-rooms my son."""

"I was walking thru the graveyard the other morning... Saw a guy kneeling behind a headstone. I walked up to him and greeted him ""Morning!"" He replied, ""Nah, I'm just taking a shit"""

"What do drunk female pirates like to give up? DA BOOTY!"

"Q: How does a bear stop a DVD? A: It just presses the ""paws"" button."

"Great idea Journalist: What do you think of western civilization? Gandhi: I think it would be a great idea!"

"""Doc, it's embarrassing, but I don't feel sexy."" ""Try wearing the wife's panties."" ""Really?"" ""Yeah, the red ones with the lace are nice"""