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Joke of the Day

"""Doc, it's embarrassing, but I don't feel sexy."" ""Try wearing the wife's panties."" ""Really?"" ""Yeah, the red ones with the lace are nice"""

"WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind. On startup it performed a self diagnostic test. Turns out, it's cancer."

"What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You gotta sit in the back of the oven..."

"When a tramp, covered in his own piss shouts at you, you don't take it personally. So why are you ever offended by idiots on Twitter?"

"Jokes . . . . I need some jokes to crack my ultra resistant friends, Please Help! P.S I don't care whether they are rude or not."

"*opens facebook messenger* *sips mtn dew twice* *strokes neckbeard* *begins typing* Sorry abt ur mom dying Tis a shame Btw ur attractive"

"My life coach just asked me leave because apparently she has ""other pedicures to do"" and doesn't ""speak English""."

"What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!"

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear Sir, We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ..."

"I have the heart of a saint And a lifetime ban from Mother Teresa's grave."