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Joke of the Day

"I said hello to a feminist... my court trial is tomorrow"

"If I could make the ultimate scary animal, I'd make it hybrid with the head of a bear, bear claws, and the body of a bear."

"What's the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme."

"Guy: Hey I want to be part of you girl. Girl: sorry, I already have an asshole!"

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? He's alright now."

"I envy how comfortable Waldo always seems in large crowds."

"My GF and I would kick ass at the newlywed game. I know 100% of her answers to questions is "" I don't know""."

"Maybe if we start smacking people when they say something stupid, evolution will eventually create a delay between thinking and speaking."

"Who was the first person Aaron Hernandez called after the shooting? Wes Welker. Everyone knows you need a white Bronco to get away with murder."

"It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan. Talk Abbottabad place to hide."