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Joke of the Day

"If I could make the ultimate scary animal, I'd make it hybrid with the head of a bear, bear claws, and the body of a bear."

"Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him? A: To see how long he slept."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on tides. The librarian says, ""I'm sorry sir, that's just gone out."""

"I got a job at FedEx OP delivered"

"Why I hated my trip to Canada It was a nice country, but as soon as I saw the flag is just wanted to *leaf*"

"What do you a Mars with water? Wars"

"Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven."

"If a genie granted me 3 wishes I'd ask for unlimited wishes, then I'd probably take a nap"

"A pirate walks into a bar with his ship's steering wheel shoved down his pants. The bartender says, ""hey pirate that's got to be hard to walk with."" Pirate says, ""aye, it be driving me nuts."""