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Joke of the Day
"There's a huge party at the orphanage tonight Their parents are gone."
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"PRO TIP: If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks."
"Exercise can add years to your life. This enables you, at 95 years, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $7,000 a month."
"Jesus told John Come forth and receive eternal life. But poor John came in fifth and received a toaster."
"How do you make a cat go ""woof!"" Pour lighter fluid on it and set it ablaze... ""WOOOOF!"""
"What's the difference between America and Yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for 2000 years it'll develop a culture."
"Why does Bane and a monk get along well in the morning? Because the friar rises!"
"Take a deep breath. Exhale slowly. - Respirational Tweet"
"Dad: Did you get gas? Me: Ya i got it on the way home from school Dad: Well if you got gas than you better go to the bathroom!"
"Little boy: ""daddy, I want to be a Men's Rights Activist when I grow up"" Dad: son, don't grow up to be an irritating wuss"