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Joke of the Day

"Why do old people read the bible so much? cramming for finals"

"New Joker looks like he has the Memento disease and needs a bunch of tattoos to remind him he's the Joker."

"I dig my own Grave. Adds Inter-ior designer to Resume."

"Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!"

"What do you get when you mix human DNA with zebra DNA? Well, kicked out of the zoo for starters."

"I dont downvote It's bad karma."

"Florist: ""Would you like your flowers wrapped?"" Me: ""Nope, they're going right into the shredder before I give them to my sister-in-law."""

"An old man was asking God: ""God, how much time do I have until I'll die?"" And God answered: ""Nine."" ""God, is that you? What do you mean? Nine months? Nine years?"" ""Eight, seven, six..."""

"Humans are constantly amazing me; like how vegan is a thing but hibernation isn't? Wtf."

"GF: every time we fight you start interpretive dancing *i dance beautifully for 12 minutes* GF: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"