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Joke of the Day

"Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because like most men, they won't stop to ask directions."

"I hate when my congressman emails me to ""take action"" on an issue. Dude, you're the one in congress, you do something."

"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less. [GRAMMAR NAZI BUSTS IN] ""MINE FEWER."" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"

"My gf just sat me down and confessed to me that she used to be a Christian. It came as quite a shock; I've only ever known her as Christine"

"What is Reddit's favorite pirate? Neckbeard"

"What kind of meat is the cheapest?.. Deer balls Cause they're under a buck!"

"Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it saw the other one changing!"

"What kind of beef are you most likely to catch masturbating? Stroganoff"

"When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?"

"Friends are like snow when you pee on them, they disappear."