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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the doctor... The doctor says ""I've got good news and bad news. The good news is you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is I should have told you yesterday..."""

"Hey you know how people say they hate math because it doesn't make sense? I think that is unfair because math loves them. The problem is that math shows its love by playing hard to get."

"I recently started smoking... It was all dunhill from there"

"Every program on MTV could have been titled ""Jackass""."

"How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line."

"What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra."

"What's the true meaning of a New Years resolution? Something you do for the first week of the new year."

"FYI - so it IS illegal to put a skylight on the 5th floor of an 8th floor apartment building"

"[NSFW] The Fastest Man Alive ""Thank God you're here Premature Ejaculation Man!""Cried the helpless victim. ""I came as fast as I could!"" responded P.E. Man"

"Jesse Pinkman created an app that shows which coffee shops are serving Pumpkin Spice flavored beverages... He wrote it in BASIC, Bitch!"