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Joke of the Day

"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less. [GRAMMAR NAZI BUSTS IN] ""MINE FEWER."" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"

"Why did the banker bee go to prison? Embuzzlement! You're damn right"

"My English teacher corrected my Grammer. One day during the lecture our English teacher told us things are not ""hard"", infact they are ""difficult"". She gave me the most difficult boner that day."

"What's the difference between a chicpea and a tomato I don't pay 1200 dollars for a tomato on my face."

"What is a Jedi's favorite salad dressing? Skywalker Ranch."

"I feel like if there ever was a zombie apocalypse I'm so numb to them at this point I wouldn't even bat an eye."

"Interesting that on Opposite Day you cannot declare that it is so."

"The Catholic Church has chosen its anthem Concerto for organ in a minor."

"What's the smallest instrument in the world? An e-lectron."

"""Mrs. Doubtfire"" is my favorite movie about a messy custody battle that gives way to horribly illegal and creepy transgendered stalking."