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Joke of the Day
"Whenever you feel depressed, imagine someone tickling Kristen Stewart."
Next Joke
"What's the stupidest animal in the Jungle? A Polar Bear"
"[1st date] HER: So do you have any hobbies? SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor HER: What?! HIM: Just ventriloquism"
"can U answer this? If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate ...Do you think: (a) You need more time together, (b) She's a prude, or (c) She should sit somewhere else on the bus?"
"I think my penis is sick!!! I was playing with him this morning and he threw-up in my hand."
"I cherish a gift a dying friend gave me, strange as it is. With his last breath of life, he gave me his EpiPen. It seemed very important that I have it."
"The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse, gets the cheese! [Dark humor, I love it!]"
"Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world."
"How do you annoy someone from r/Jokes? [deleted]"
"Spent all last night mouthing words to my dog to try and convince him that he'd gone deaf."