164432

Joke of the Day

"I cherish a gift a dying friend gave me, strange as it is. With his last breath of life, he gave me his EpiPen. It seemed very important that I have it."

"What do you call a Mexican on a bike? a dirt bike"

"A girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre... ... So he gives it to her!"

"Rules are like a penis You can bend it as much as you want, but if you break it, you're fucked."

"Making my voice mail message say ""Just hang up and text me."""

"*puts on Rocky theme music* *cracks neck* *cracks knuckles* *stretches* *jogs in place* *picks up phone to call mom*"

"But I love food, why would it want to poison me? :("

"How Russians win wars Rushing"

"[text] I'm very hungry but I'm sick and tired of the food at my work! ;( Maybe I'll try bringing lunch from home?!"

"When Pink Floyd sings, ""just another brick in the wall,"" it's a little bit demeaning to bricks."