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Joke of the Day

"I told my wife 'a blowjob a day keeps the doctor away.' For Christmas she bought me better medical coverage."

"What's a good motto for a sewage treatment plant? Our duty is clear. Credit: Futurama"

"What's heavier, 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers? Your mother."

"Having sex is like you're doing fractions it is improper for the larger one to be on top"

"Picking up someone at a bar when you're drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn't want."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan."

"My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her... Can't believe that chick pea'd herself"

"How does Lord Voldemort like his pussy? (whisper) HHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY"

"In my interview for the binman job, I asked if you needed any special training... The interviewer said ""nah you just sort of pick it up as you go along""."

"I like my women like I like my file systems..... FAT & 32."