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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a psychic midget escape from prison? A small medium at large"

"What instrument was the predecessor to the tuba? The oneba"

"I never get the silent treatment when I really want it."

"If you wear a onesie to a wedding, no one will ever invite you to another one."

"I can never tell if a mother duck is being dutifully followed by her ducklings or chased by a gang of young duck criminals."

"A women's work that is never done is the stuff that she asked her husband to do."

"Just tried to put my seatbelt on. AT MY DESK. I'm pretty."

"[Racist] How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb None.They just beat the room for being black."

"How high are you? No officer, it's hi, how are you."

"I held a convention for solipsists. Nobody else showed up. So I sent everyone home."