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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a guitar player to shut up? Put sheet music in front of him"

"Why did Windows skip to 10? Because 7 ate 9."

"Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts make a right. And two Wrights make a plane 6 lefts make a plane."

"Apparently we can't call it crowbars anymore. Its actually jackdawbars"

"Tattoos tell a story, like tribal tattoos tell a story of a guy that wears sunglasses indoors."

"[Computer has become self-aware] Scientist 1: Shit, just like in Terminator Computer: I HAVE WRITTEN SOME POETRY Scientist 2: No, worse"

"Why are there no Irish lawyers? You ever seen an Irishman pass a bar?"

"BOSS: why are you so late? ME: i definitely wasnt up until 4am watching Hey Arnold ha-ha BOSS: well i was and i got here on time"

"I saw a middle aged man staring at a picture of his very first steps. With tears in his eyes, he told me he regrets ever replacing the steps with an elevator."

"I have a really bad phobia of speed bumps... But I'm slowly getting over it"