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Joke of the Day

"In New York, people are paying up to $100 for a ""cronut,"" which is croissant/donut. We call these people ""midiots,"" which is a moron/idiot."

"My kids are yelling so incoherently at one another it sounds like they're naming IKEA furniture."

"You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works."

"I hate all these PI days jokes They go on forever."

"Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure"

"What do golfers do on nights out? **par**ty."

"I submitted 10 wordplays to a pun contest hoping one would win best quip... But no pun in ten did."

"My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!"

"The Home Alone house is up for sale for 2.4 mil. I'd pay 2.5 (if I had it) just so I could say, ""Keep the change you filthy animal."""

"The past, present, and future walks into a bar. It was tense."