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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to be a clown for Halloween. So I can finally get shot."

"Nice try, self check out lanes. There's not even any mirrors."

"Donald Trump is losing support from Republicans He is considering joining the Whig party."

"People ask if I saw any 'Red Flags'... Well, I was an anarcho-capitalist and she was a Hoxhaist..."

"Those stickers of families you see on the back of mini-vans are like menus.. For sexual predators."

"Is it normal for a doctor who sees your penis to yell ""MAGNIFICENT!"" --it's not, right?"

"Why can't Bruce Jenner drive a KIA? Because they have tranny problems too"

"Despite my last 12,000 tweets, I'm actually really fun."

"Terror attack in New York Thousands of people scream as Mariah Carey bombs Time Square"

"Scientist: we've finally taught a dog Morse Code Dog: [taps paw] Me: what did it say? Scientist: ""woof"""