199082

Joke of the Day

"Those stickers of families you see on the back of mini-vans are like menus.. For sexual predators."

"I put a ruler under my bed every night... so that I can measure how long I slept for"

"Overheard @ high school's red & white football game Clueless freshman: ""So, who are we playing?"" Crowd: ""It's intrasquad!"" Pregnant pause. Clueless freshman: ""So we're still going to lose!"""

"Why are bats blind? Well your eyesight wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all day would it?"

"What do you pasta with a witty comeback? Retortellini."

"You lost me at ""my psychic said.."""

"Dear MTV, I was wondering if I could get my ""M"" back..... you know, since you're not using it. Sincerely, _usic"

"[PICKLE] Our first chance to help our new ally! http://www.reddit.com/r/pickle/comments/1a2xg8/next_attack_for_our_entire_army_march_12th_at_520/"

"Feed a fish to a man, and you have fed him for a day. Feed a man to a fish, and you have appeased Dagon. You have done well. we crawl we rise"

"What is the unit of power? Yes"