209955

Joke of the Day

"Nice try, self check out lanes. There's not even any mirrors."

"All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental."

"1.Not leaving my room 2.Not leaving the house 3.Missing someone's birthday party My childhood punishments have become my adult hobbies."

"Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest they said ""Sorry no professionals."""

"I have a nice body. It's out in the trunk."

"EVERYONE ALWAYS THINKS I'M YELLING, BUT MY VIC 20 DOESN'T HAVE LOWER CASE!"

"Why was Hitler a pussy? Because he had nein lives!"

"Did you know that Helen Keller lived in a huge mansion? Neither did she"

"Have you ever answered your own question? Why yes, I have!"

"What does a British man do when he finds a prostitute and is in the mood? He pounds."