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Joke of the Day

"I'm anti-thesaurus, for lack of a better word."

"How do you know it's time to go to bed? Hitler is raping you!"

"What made the vampire a gentlemen? They would always ask their girlfriend before they came inside."

"What's the difference between a gun and a wife? You can silence a gun."

"Q: How can you make a slow horse fast? A: Don't give him any food."

"How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? None they just have a nursing assistant do it. As much as the doctor orders."

"What do you call a gay black man? A homiesexual"

"ME: I wasn't invited to the party FRIEND: Yeah, people think you're melodramatic ME: [slaps friend with silk glove] Then I shall die alone"

"So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forget the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."

"What is the center of a gay apple's life? Decor."