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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function? Because only a Sith deals in absolutes. ^and ^it's ^non-differentiable ^at ^0"

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"The first thing I do when someone introduces themselves to me is forget what their name is."
"You know those giant sunflowers? The really tall ones? With the big, brown center? I killed my grandparents. And the yellow petals?"
"What do space-related scientists call themselves in Australia? Austronomers"
"What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...? A fork"
"180 degree Celsius = pi radian Celsius"
"It is impossible to act naturally right after someone tells you to act naturally."
"I took one of those online IQ tests ... And got a 404. I'm a super genius!"
"me: I know it's over, but can I have one last hug? Please? Him: *moves closer. stops & sniffs* omg are you covered in superglue?"
"Why was the 1 year old Ethiopian boy crying? He was having a midlife crisis."
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