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Joke of the Day

"You know those giant sunflowers? The really tall ones? With the big, brown center? I killed my grandparents. And the yellow petals?"

"What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old? Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking."

"So a piece of bacon and a biscuit walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""Sorry but we don't serve breakfast here"""

"How do Asians find our they are pregnant? They send a rubix cube up to see if it gets solved."

"Dang girl are you a CS map? Cause you're looking DE_licious tonight."

"Did you know that a chicken coop can't have more than 3 doors? If it has 4 doors, it's a sedan."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder... of someone else, who isn't quite as absent."

"12 yr. old daughter: My friend Samantha said she thinks you're handsome. Me: Aww. That's cute. How about her mom? Has she said anything?"

"I have a mice problem so I lay out tiny red and blue bandanas in hopes they start a west coast/east coast thing and take care of each other."

"Worrying does you no good. Or does it? What if it does? Can anyone confirm this? Maybe email me in case I have bad reception?!"