197544

Joke of the Day

"me: I know it's over, but can I have one last hug? Please? Him: *moves closer. stops & sniffs* omg are you covered in superglue?"

Next Joke
 
"My Roommate wanted me to play the popular game Fuck, Marry, Kill... But now I am confused. What should I do with my husband's dead body?"
"If a Nun changed sex... Would that make them a tran-sister?"
"You know its my phone if it looks like someone fingerpainted the touch screen in donut glaze."
"Whats the difference between a shower thought and a joke? I don't know you tell me."
"I hate when weather reporters talk shit on snow...Like why are u even in the weather biz if ur not down w/ snow"
"How did the redneck find the sheep in the tall grass Satisfying"
"The Millionaire by Ivor Fortune"
"Horses kill more people than sharks, which is weird -- I didn't even know horses could live underwater."
"ME: so what do you do GUY: I'm an oral surgeon ME: *imagining him doing heart surgery with just his mouth* wow I bet you're a helluva kisser"