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Joke of the Day

"When I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar"

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"While I was watching the prison wall, a little midget starting climbing over it and smirked at me And I thought to myself, ""That's a little condescending""."
"Jim: You have a Fantasy Football team? Me: Guys aren't my thing. But, Tom Brady's kinda cute. Jim: No, I- Me: Ooh! Cam Newton's dreamy, too!"
"Me and my brother buried the hatchet last night! We dumped the hooker in the lake though."
"A guy comes into a bar... Wait. No. It was a horse. A guy comes into a horse."
"I prefer masturbating with coconut oil as opposed to lotion It just cums naturally."
"I wonder who Rose is going to kill in Titanic II."
"What does school and the male reproductive organ have in common? Most of the time it's hard and long - unless you're Asian."
"Life is full of people you can't have and people you don't want."
"I should have been a psychic I hear they make a fortune."